Friday, November 19, 2010

Calling You Out, It Has to be You

>.<..... aaaahhh... i'm actually doing it again this time.. really really doing it.. geez
Just as usual, after finished watching a drama, this heart is trembling, these tears can't be hold any longer.. everything bursts out, exploded. Especially when i see the smile of the male actor, god! i'm melting, bleeding out.

If i can explain the feeling by words, i will have done it. but.... -,-

Actually the drama had been aired long time ago, at the beginning of this year i think. well, no more chit-chat.. just listen and feel the lyrics.. got you!

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Calling You Out

나를 깨우는 외로움에, 지쳐버린 잠에서 깨면
When I wake up from the loneliness that wakes me up
여전히 웃는 그대가 생각나서, 나도 몰래 미소 짓는데
I think about their always smiling face which makes me smile without knowing
이렇게 또 사랑은 가고, 아름다운 계절이 오면
Like this another person leaves and when another beautiful season arrives
네가 남긴 슬픔에 그리움에 나는 또 이 거릴 걷는다
with the sadness and longing for you which you left behind, I walk down this street again
하루 또 하루 나 살아가다가
Day after day as I live my life
그대 이름에, 또 눈물이 나면
I get teary after hearing his name
나 참을 수 없어, 이렇게 웃을 수 없어
I can’t hold it in, I can’t laugh like this
또 그대 이름 불러본다
I try calling his name again

가슴에 남은 상처도 이젠, 그대 이름 잊으라는데
With the scar he left on my heart, I’m trying to forget his name
내 입술을 깨물고, 참아봐도
although I bite my lips trying to hold it in
내 사랑 너 하나 뿐인 걸
my love is only you

하루 또 하루 나 살아가다가, 그대 이름에또 눈물이 나면
Day after day as I live my life, I get teary after hearing his name

나 참을 수 없어, 이렇게 웃을 수 없어

I can’t hold it in, I can’t laugh like this
또 그대 이름 불러본다
I try calling his name again

아 무렇지 않게 살아가다가 사랑이 또 그리울 때면
I live my life pretending nothing has happened, When I’m longing for love
그대가 남긴 아픔에 나도 모르게 눈물 흘리는데
With the hurt he has left behind, I start to cry without knowing

하루 또 하루 나 살아가다가, 그대 이름에또 눈물이 나면 
Day after day as I live my life, I get teary after hearing his name
나 참을 수 없어, 이렇게 웃을 수 없어
I can’t hold it in (can’t hold it in), I can’t laugh like this
또 그대 이름 불러본다
I try calling his name again

It Has to be You 

오늘도 내기억을 따라헤매다
Today, i wander in my memory
이 길 끝에서 서성이는 나
 I’m losing my way again
다신 볼 수도 없는 니가 나를 붙잡아
I’m pasing around on the end of this way, You’re still holding me tightly
나는 또 이 길을 묻는다
even though i can’t see you any more
널 보고 싶다고, 또 안고 싶다고, 저 하늘보며 기도하는 날
I’m praying to the sky i want see you and hold you more that i want to see you and hold you more

니가 아니면 안돼
It can’t be if it’s not you
너 없인 난 안돼
i can’t be without you
나 이렇게 하루 한달을 또 일년을
it’s okay if i’m like this for a day, a month and a year
나 아파도 좋아, 내 맘 다쳐도 좋아 난
it’s fine even if i'm hurts, it’s fine even if my heart’s hurts
그래 난 너 하나만 사랑하니까
yes because i’m just in love with you

나 두 번 다시는 보 낼 수 없다고
i cannot send you away one more time
나 너를 잊고 살순 없다고
i can’t live without you

니가 아니면 안돼
It can’t be if it’s not you
너 없인 난 안돼
i can’t be without you
나 이렇게 하루 한달을 또 일년을
it’s okay if i’m like this for a day, a month and a year

나 아파도 좋아, 내 맘 다쳐도 좋아 난
it’s fine even if i'm hurts, it’s fine even if my heart’s hurts

그래 난 너 하나만 사랑하니까
yes because i’m just in love with you

내 멍든 가슴이   
my bruised heart
널 찾아오라고, 소 리쳐 부른다
is screaming to me to find you
넌 어딨는거니
where are you?
나의 목소리 들리지 않니
can’t you hear my voice?
나 에게는
to me…

나 다시 살아도
if i live my life again
몇 번을 태어나도
if i’m born over and over again
하루도 니가 없이 살 수 없는 나
i can’t live without you for a day
내가 지켜줄 사람
You’re the one i will keep
내가 사랑할 사람 난
you’re the one i will love
그래 난 너 하나면 충분하니까
i’m…yes because i’m happy enough if i could be with you

너 하나만 사랑하니까
because you're the only one i love

I don' actually understand what i'm doing right know, but it feels like something that i have to let out. unless i will get it worse.. aahhh.. such a long long looonggg night... 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Playful Kiss Effect

2010-10-28 22.37  Meilia Hospital, Jakarta

After watching playful kiss all, i start to think what will my life be in the future. Will it be beautiful? Or will it be awful? It depends on what i’m doing right now. But the thing that i’m curious the most is,  who is the person whom i’m going to marry? Who is he? Where is he right now? Is he an indonesian? Or is he a foreigner? What is he doing right now? What kind of person is he? What kind of family does he have? Hmmm... it’s so frustating to think about them right now.. :p
Hmm.. Baek Seung Jo.. Oh Ha Ni.. what happens if my life goes like their story? Should i look for someone and find him and like him so much until i can’t live without him and just be strong even he doesn’t like my existence? Should i just be bold? Love is hurting as i experienced.
Right at this moment, i’m listening to the song tittled “saying i love you”, this song is from the drama playful kiss. It makes me think, is confessing such that hard? Or does it require a really silly thought to make you go right away to confess? What makes people go for confessing? What power they have to do so? I want to experience that kind of situation as well.. -,-
From all the informations, experiences, imaginations, until the stories i’ve heard, there is no such thing called pure love. What if i really want it right now? What if i’m asking for it right now? What if i’m demanding it right now? I trully want a pure lasting love. I want to know the feeling of loving and to be loved. Sometimes, i think of having a relationship just to experience that. But will it works? Aaahhhh!!!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

FSFTMATM Part 3 - Nella Fantasia

Baru aja gue abis nonton Qualification of Men (QOM) di KBS TV, dan pas banget lagi episode performance choir mereka yang dipimpin oleh Kollen Park (si ibu-ibu yang bawain 'Heart to Heart' di arirang TV) sebagai konduktornya.. kesan? KEREEEENNN!!! gue sempet nonton beberapa kali episode mereka latihan selama kurang lebih 2 bulan. Latihannya ga gampang lho, makanya gue agak takjub juga liat "ketahanan-banting"-nya para members QOM, dari yang sama sekali ancur sampai bisa nyanyi dengan satu arah dan satu suara, TOP deh pokoknya.

kalau ga salah, mereka nyanyiin 2 lagu, lagu ballad dan lagu soundtrack film kartun anak-anak. naaah, yang bikin gue lebih takjub lagi, lagu pertamanya ini nih. judulnya nella fantasia. Kalau ga salah juga nih, lagu ini emang aslinya soundtrack film Italia. Karena gue sempet nonton mereka latihan dari nol banget, makanya gue tahu kesusahan mereka yang awalnya susah banget buat melafalkan lagu ini yang emang bahasa Italia. Dan akhirnya, malam ini gue ga bisa tidur alias begadang nyari donlotan nih lagu. emang lagu ini addictive banget sih. Kalo ga salah isinya tentang utopia alias negeri khayalan. Gapapa, ngerti atau ga ngerti yang penting lagunya mantabh. Recomended!

Btw, para cowo, om-om, bapak-bapak, dan kakek-kakek serta semua tim choir (banyak cewenya juga) dari QOM dapet penghargaan lho dari event tersebut, walaupun bukan pemenangnya) mereka nangis banjir jir jir deh setelah selesai nyelesain misi mereka. terharu euuuyyy.. >.< berasa gue yang capek ikut latihan selama ini.. hahaaa..

enjoy deh, Nella Fantasia...

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010


things are very funny even though you think they're not. how come life seems so hard when you see it yourself? but when you see other's, you'll think theirs are pretty fun. yours should be one too, cause if it's not, then you should have done it long time ago, or may be you just being afraid to ended it. whatsoever.

when i see other's success, i dont think they deserve it somehow. it's just a silly and a jealous me. sometimes i think i should have changed my place to just somebody's, especially the successful one. but think more about it, it's just a waste to give up your life just because you are jealous of someone and not enjoying it. then i think again, we are so special so that we got to be born to this world.

eventually, all i have to say is, just be grateful of what you have. Thanks God for everything.

aaahh... just try to write again and this is the result, talking nowhere to go. annyeong!

Thursday, May 27, 2010


Sendu, abis liat puisi karya B.J Habibie buat almarhum istrinya... sediiiiihhhh.....

trus pas banget lagi denger lagunya K.Will, dropping the tears..

check this out

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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

(FSFTMATM) Favorite song for this moment according to mood, PART 1

hmm.. what a cloudy day

today's activities are just as boring as any other day. Go to the campus, being late, have such meaningless chats with also meaningless classmates.. hahaha..

but today is just different, i feel as blue as the cloud.. cieeee
well i think that one is just an excuse for not doing my assignments, and also because these days i'm watching this drama (personal taste).. hahaha

so let's have a listen to my FSFTMATM, what a long word. well, Enjoy!

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

It should NOT have been like this!!

well yeah, let's start with the main subject, it is LOVE actually.

hmm... it started 3 months ago, i don't even know why..
to be honest, i think we shouldn't have met at all..
ok, and to be more honest.. he's NOT my type at all
well yeah, i think everyone knows what exactly my type is,
KOREAN, with a fresh smile, perfect features, good looking, nice body, beautiful skin and etc.
and he is totally not.

the problem is not whether he is my type or not, but why can i ended to this kind of situation when actually i shouldn't.

hmmmm.......................... confused, is the best thing that i can describe now, nothing else.

he's hooked up actually. what else can i do.

tough, hard, suffered, tortured, MULES. grgrgrggrgrgrgrgrgrggrgrgrgrgrrr.... mulai gajeb nih gw.. lanjutin aja kapan2 yak yak yak yak

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Postingan pertama di 2010

this year seems so blue to me

ok, hmm... i'm sorry. kenapa juga ya gw minta maaf? tak tahulah! ok ci, jujur aja lah ciiii...

sekarang lagi liburan semester 3 menuju semester 4. semuanya terlihat santai dan mengasyikkan. seolah-olah semua tugas telah selesai dan gw terlihat seperti tinggal menuai hasil yang gw perjuangkan selama kuliah. faktanya, terlalu banyak masalah yang gw hadapin. hmmm.... tapi kalo diuraikan satu persatu gw juga sebenernya gw ga tau apa itu.

selama ini yang gw rasain adalah, gw kuliah dengan niat yang tidak sepenuhnya untuk mencari ilmu, sebenernya niat gw kuliah ya kurang lebih hanya untuk memenuhi keinginan ortu tercinta, bukan berarti gw nya ga mau kuliah, cuma gw punya perasaan gw ga mampu untuk itu. tapi sekarang gw baru ngerasain kalo itu sebernya NOT SO HEALTHY buat gw, ortu, dan sekeliling gw. why? kenapa? karena:
1. niat dari awal udah salah, bukan salah juga sih, cuma kurang tepat.
2. ketika gw ngerjain tugas, perasaan yang gw rasa cuma sebatas, "ok yang penting udah gw selesai-in,hasilnya bodo amat, yang penting gw udah berusaha". tapi kenyataannya juga usaha itu juga ga maksimal. serba salah.
3. ternyata usaha membuahkan hasil itu benar adanya. usaha gw yang memang hanya "setengah-setengah" menghasilkan nilai yang juga sekedarnya. ga terlihat sama sekali ada usaha sepenuh hati di dalamnya.
4. aku melukai perasaan orang tua tercinta. aku manusia paling hina. padahal gw tau banget harapan mereka ke gw itu sangat tinggi, ya walaupun meraka ga maksa gw untuk banting tulang setengah mati untuk belajar, tapi gw tau mereka ga mau membebani gw. tapi apa balasan gw??? cuma bisa ngabisin duit mereka, uang kuliah gw itu ga sedikit, bisa unutk ngebiayain kuliah 8-10 orang anak, belum embel2 beli alat-alatnya, beli bahan-bahan, transportasi, jajan, jalan-jalan, fotokopi, les eilts, tes eilts, dll. gw takut gw udah termasuk kategori anak durhaka. ya Allah................
5. sebentar lagi semester 4, setelah itu gw harus berangkat ke ausie dengan biaya yang aduh bikin gw mules aja. dan sekali lagi gw tau kalau punya perasaan "takut tidak berhasil" itu salah, tapi perasaan itu ada.
6. sekarang nilai-nilai udah keluar. dan hasilnya yaaa... begitulah.. gw bingung sama temen-temen gw yang selama proses beajar mereka ya ga jauh beda dari gw lah, bahkan bisa dibilang gw lebih lengkap. tapi nilai mereka lebih tinggi. why??
7. emang salah kalau kuliah niatnya untuk mencari nilai??

kapan-kapan gw lanjutin lagi. zzzzzzzzzzzz