Thursday, December 15, 2011


Have you ever felt like you are tremendously blessed?? Or like, happy but with more gratitude feelings?
Ok.. just for your information. Today is my birthday!! Dec 14th  yay!! I'm 21 years old! wait.. it automatically means I'm old already.. but it's fine :)

Ok, so let's just start the with the story that today brought me.
So.. ok i'm on a strict diet this week, but since today is my birthday, i'm having a "dirty" plan in my mind to be free only for 1 day to have a meal time together with my friends. heheheee
Ok.. so the plan has been approved by my mom. and so here we go to our favorite sushi restaurant.
But these two friends of mine (Lyn and Icha) were telling me that they will be late so my friend (Ranti) and I should go first. Ok so then we went there.
Yup we were waiting there for like half an hour when Lyn and Icha came with a cake and candles in shape of 21, singing a happy birthday song for me. yayayayayayayayaaaa!!!!! hahahaha.... 
I'm not lying I was so surprised. I thought they were late for real, like may be trapped in traffic jam or fallen asleep in a car. hahahhaaa...

Oh yeah there's nothing better to have friends in life, I mean, they dont buy you and you dont buy them, right. It comes naturally and you are growing together and it means you have some parts in them and they have some parts of themselves in you.. 

And then, I had one more birthday present to tell you. Even though it's not planned, my friends who study in Australia went to visit the campus which they haven't seen in like almost one semester.. And we finally met and had chit chats like old friends catching all the stories up for deadline. Thanks Rizki, Ken, Alv, Andre :)
So we ate the cake, again. They absolutely ruined my diet program, for sure -____-" , but I'm so happy happy to see them again. Unfortunately not all of them can make it to come to Indonesia this holiday.. :(
Yeah, I feel like I need my old studio classmates already.. There were too many memories back then. The silly stupid crazy things back there were never ever be forgotten.  

The other thing that I'm currently and intensely thinking about is that, how wonderful my life is.
I  mean, I will be a moron if I'm not grateful for everything Allah has given to me.
I have wonderful parents, amazingly crazy sisters and brothers, cool family, fantastic friends, and a study major which most of people will think they will be happy to be doing it if they were in my shoes. Even people who congratulate me in facebook who i don't really know or even meet. It's just nice to know they care to write in my wall even for 10 seconds.
Anyways, it's like huge things that Allah has entrusted me. And I have to do something good about them, make use of them, care about them, be grateful with them, or share my love with them.
And it took me to my deepest realization that I should be much more more more and more grateful with my life. And I should not be the spoiled brat I used to be. Not anymore.

Hopefully it's not only my age that's getting bigger in number, but also my heart mind and soul that become wiser and fit what it takes to be a better human being.

haha.. kidding :p

Jakarta, December 14th 2011.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

One of those days when you swear a lot

Orang muda harus jatuh cinta sejatuh-jatuhnya,
patah hati sepatah-patahnya,
tertawa, marah, sedih, rajin,
dan malas se-crazy-crazy-nya,


engkau harus segera bangkit,
mendewasa, berdiri gagah,
dengan bekas-bekas luka yang indah
di wajah dan dadamu,
dan dengan anggun dan berwibawa,
katakanlah ..

Dengan kewenangan
yang diberikan oleh Tuhan kepadaku,
dengarlah ini ...

-Mario Teguh-

Yup, hari ini presentasi, bukan final, tapi mendekati.
Apa yang terjadi? I screwed it up.
Can you believe me if i tell you this??! 
I mean, i'm not the best student in my class. I'm not the most diligent one. I'm not the genius one. But i tried my hardest.
I always tried to attend the class everyday -emphasize that, EVERYDAY-. When only 4 or 5 people out of 15 students attend the class, mostly for the whole studio class. yup 5 out of 15. It's really really a great class for you to take every semester, because you can literally do everything in the studio hours, nobody would care, even your lecturer -as you may call it that way-, well yeah i hate him. Sorry.
Ok, so the story began with the delay of the presentation which should be held on Dec 5th, just for your information I've done it at 1 o'clock the night before, and to be postponed until next week, which is today Dec 12th.
First, it sucks because I've already done it (even though it lacks 2% touch).
Second, the lecturer was never present at the studio, which is his obligation. -again, OBLIGATION-. So, how am i supposed to do with my project if someone who call himself "the expert" was never there when i need him?? (hosh hooosshh)
Third, Ok... let's say I would have more time to improve my presentation, which is a rare opportunity. So i fixed things here and there. Wallaah! I think it looks pretty good to me. I even had a little private consultation with the other lecturer (thanks a lot ka Dyah! :*). So, i finished everything early, have more time to do something else, even though i didn't have my weekend as much as i wanted, but it's good.
Fourth, So let's begin the freaking freaky presentation. I had never been so nervous about having a presentation. I never even cared if it'd turn out to be great or damned. But I believed in this one. I had my expectation high because I believed I have done everything I could, well ya not everything. Like, I didn't do models and stuff. But mostly everything. And well you know, it turned out to be me as the one who seems so LAZY and STUPID and IDIOT and LACKING and CAN NEVER BE AN ARCHITECT EVEN IF I TRY LIKE CRAZY.. hhhhhhh..
Fifth, I think I'm done with the architectural stuff here. I can't take it anymore. I mean, some of my friend who -mostly- never come to class got really nice comments and good bla bla bla from -ok i'm gonna have to say it anyway- Mr. G (even though i didn't really get it because it's not interesting for me), and me??
Fortunately, I followed Mr. Mario Teguh's facebook account.  -___-"
Yup. Things will still be like hell for few days to come. But I will have my "revenge" to you Mr. G... hihihihi (evil laugh)

Friday, December 2, 2011

Miss You

You know what?.. This is the time when I miss you the most.
When everything is at the finishing line.
When everybody starts disappearing.
When you showed up, but your shadow remains behind.
When I know that we'll meet again soon, but it feels like years.
When I talked bad about you, but I adore you in my mind.
When I stalked you before I left.
When I know you will see me again and expect me to be different.
Yes, I miss you the most, now.