Wednesday, October 31, 2012

ME

i feel like shit. thanks "friends"


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Reply 1997

huwaaa.. i'm gonna review a drama that i've watched several times omg it's so good!! it is "REPLY 1997". it is not so me when it comes to reviewing drama. ok, i'll just say what i think about this drama and what really captures me. hohoho

so, the drama tells a story about two childhood friends falling in love as they growing up, the story takes place in 1996-2012 periods, so it should be fun! going back and forth the time as if you have time machine, great! what i think really awesome about this drama is that they show so many stuff from 90s such as tamagochi, walkman, old days comic books, DDR, video tape, etc. omg i'm so in love with those! and i love it when i'm reminiscing the old days, the days when i don't really care about the future, i used to do what i love and not what i was supposed to show other people. 

you know, especially in senior high, when you found your first love (even though mine was when i was 9, damn it), you giggled with your girlfriends and tell each of your crushes, exchanged cute stuffs every morning at school, brought prohibited items to class. hmm... i feel old already. but i know things will come up exactly the same as now later on when i'm at my 30s or 40s, i will do remember this time as my silly age. blah. and i feel sorry for today's generation with their digital crap, i miss the analog period when everything seems so difficult to run but actually brilliant. none of you will understand what i'm talking about you twothousandsbornkids. hehehehe

oh ya! the drama taking an idol story as their additional plots. when you recognize HOT, Scehs Kies, Baby VOX, or Fin KL, you are probably the same age as mine or may be older. huhahahhaaa. and that also means you are one of the pioneer of korean lovers. the characters in this drama are huge fans of some groups, and they show exactly what i was in my high school days. damn it, i miss those days. i miss the day when i go to school to tell new stories of my idol to other friends who also love korean stuff. we exchange new information, new songs, new pictures, even new gossip, hell yeah. and i didn't even think going to school to study, i only cared about meeting friends and talking about korean stuff all day long. there were days when my grades were not even low, they were red zero. oh gosh, how could i ever had a chance to study when all i thought was to go to korea to meet my idols. hahahaaa

so, as a cassiopeia, i fell so related to this drama as they show much love to their idols. i feel that is exactly how fans should go through if they were truly devoted to their idols, (well, not that extreme as what Shiwon did when she stalked into Tony oppa's house) but yeah you can tell exactly that your idols really influence you in so many ways. to me, TVXQ is my and only star. they are my first korean crush, they thought me how to love unconditionally. i was crying at the moment i heard their song heart, mind and soul. i thought it was the most beautiful song i've ever heard. they encourage me to become a better person. i know it's wrong and exaggerated, but there were times when i study for them, i eat for them, i cry for them, even i didn't have any dream or any idea on how i should become in the future, and i put them as my goal, as my consideration. i thought i should be somehow someone successful so that i could meet them in confidence, so that they will see me as someone. 

ok, i think it's enough. you will not have enough time to talk about old days, it will eat you up. hahahaha
omg i still can't believe i did those silly things back then (i still am right now :P) but yeah, that what makes life even exciting, doesn't it? hmm... i'm gonna read this post when i reach 40 and i will laugh at myself and i will tell my children how funny i was and they should just enjoy their life without having to worry about the future, as long as you ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!!! 



Reply 1997, simply awesome drama.


My Forever Love, TV5XQ. 



Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wishes

hehehe..
sometimes i think it would be nice if i have a genie on my own, and make him grant my wishes.
i thought about the 3 wishes i wanna ask.

first and the most important wish for all the Cassiopeia around the globe, MAKE TV5XQ TO COMEBACK AS 5. this would be a very huge huge moment of the human history since the first lamp was created. yeah

second, it is a must and a definite one, MAKE ALL THE C*TS DISAPPEAR FROM THE EARTH.
third, hmmm... i'm still thinking about what i should ask, but yeah.. i'll tell you later on. byeee...

ps: this is only for fun. you should ask anything only to Allah swt. this is only my silly thoughts in the middle of the night because i haven't been sleeping for 2 days. blaaaah

see you around!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Woman's Pray

Semoga Tuhan menghadiahkan bagi wanita yang masih sendiri,
laki-laki yang menjadikannya pusat perhatian hidupnya,
yang bekerja keras bagi kesejahteraannya,
yang menanggalkan semua kesombongan
untuk meratap dan memohon maaf saat dia salah,
yang tak malu meminta untuk disayang-sayang dan dimanja,

tapi yang hebat dalam menghasilkan uang,

yang penyayang dan penderma yang anggun,
yang berwibawa

dan disegani karena kepemimpinannya,
yang berpengaruh luas,
dan yang kembali ke rumah sebagai kekasih
yang manja dan menggelakkan tawa.

Ooh Tuhan kami Yang Maha Cinta dan Maha Lembut,


kami mohon Engkau membimbing kami

untuk menjadi pantas bagi belahan jiwa yang indah.

Aamiin


--------------


Adik-adik saya yang masih sendiri,


Yuk kita jamaahkan doa kita, sertakanlah ‘Aamiin’ dari Anda - agar lebih segera jawaban yang indah itu diturunkan dari Tuhan, bagi kelengkapan kehidupan Anda yang mendamaikan, yang menyejahterakan, dan yang membahagiakan.


Aamiin

Mario Teguh –
 
 
Bismillah, tiba-tiba ada suara di hati gw yang bilang, "Bismillah Ci, laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wantita baik-baik pula". Hehehe, jarang-jarang si Ciah ngomongin beginian, apalagi ditulis di blog. Oalaah.
Yup betul sekali, saya sedang galau. Dan level galaunya sudah luamayan akut. Kok bisa? ya begitu deh.
I'll admit it, it's not so easy for me to tell anybody about this side of me, this vulnerable side i bet everybody has. You know, sometimes i think, will i become someone's wife someday? or am i even qualified to be married? like, i know everybody thinks i have reached the stage, the age, and every qualification one needs to get married. The fact is, no, i haven't. 
 
To be honest, i always have my eyes on somebody that i never even know. I mean, i know him, his name. I met him several times, he is a friend of my colleague. The other time, he even wanted to introduce me to him, but i refused, i was so red (read: my cheeks became so red like tomatoes, i swear) and told him that it wouldn't be necessary, i bet this friend of mine knew i was staring at "him" all the time, like all the time. It was so embarrassing. Well, actually, it is not the first time i am being "attracted" to someone, it is just every time it happens, those stupid things are just rotating back to the start line. Enough of this story.
 
The point is, he is known as one of the most "popular" guy in the faculty, like, every girls i know adores him. He is active in most prestigious organizations and events, he is smart (of course ᅲ_ᅲ), he is good looking (indeed), and the best thing is that he is a Moslem. How in the world wouldn't i be attracted to this creature called "boy"?? Gosh
 
But one thing, everytime i meet him at the faculty, it is like, there are these small pieces inside me that keep telling me that i will never ever have a chance to be his girl (oh gosh i'm actually writing down this silly things in here *panic), he will never ever "see" me, i am not good enough for him, and i will never be. When this happens, i was always like, ok fine i can just walk away and continue my life and i can just have fun with my friends without the needs to repair myself because i will never be as equal as him, and i just stay the same as always. That way i know i was wrong, it is not wrong in term of "being-confindent", it is about being a better person. You know, if someone wants to get a good husband, one should be a good person. And i know it is real, it is written in the Quran in fact. And i'm so ashamed of myself compare to him, i always want a good-smart-kind-funny-goodlooking husband, and how come i'm still stucked at this point? It's like, a beggar wanted to marry a prince, no compare. I look so miserable, i know.
 
Well, just to let you know, i'm now listening to Adele's song, Make You Feel My Love.
See you next time, hopefully i've changed to a better Ciah. hehehehe :P   
 
 
 
 
 
ps: i dont usually tell people (even my best friend) if i have a crush on someone, just you bloggy, just you :* 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Dissapointed

"Please all, and you will please none"- A friend of mine.

Kenapa juga gw harus ngerasa kecewa?
Kan katanya Allah pasti ngeganti kekalahan sekarang dengan yang lebih baik lagi asal kita mau terus berusaha. So, sabar aja ci..Yah, iya sih pastinya gw ngerasa kehilangan, kesel, bete, kecewa berat. Mau gimana lagi? kan ga semua yang kita mau pasti terlaksana. Masih untung ada yang mau dengerin, diskusi, dan ngasih pengarahan. Daripada marah-marah sendirian.
Hhhh... intinya sih gw cuma sayang aja sama kesempatan ini, langka banget ada yang nawarin. dan yang paling penting, ini adalah salah satu mimpi gw dari kecil. Oh maaaiii... hiks
Oke fixed! kenapa juga gw harus bergantung sama orang lain? kenapa ga gw mulai dari awal? mulai sendiri dan buat semuanya sesuai keinginan gw! walaupun ga tau kapan dan ga tau mulainya gimana, tapi semua bisa dipelajarin dan dicari-tau. Yosshh!! *sambil doa mudah2an kesempatan yang ini ga ilang gitu aja, mudah2an masih ditungguin hiks hiks :'((

Hhhh... apalah ciii.... dari pagi kerjaannya galaaau mulu.
Kesana galau, kesini galau. semua hal dijadiin galau. Liat ini galau, liat itu galau. Banyak maunya. Kalo dipikir-pikir, selama ini gw terlalu lama ada di zona nyaman gw, ga pernah coba buat ada di posisi orang yang harus struggle cuma buat dapetin apa yang gw take for granted. Gw selalu bilang ke orang lain yang curhat atau cerita-cerita masalah mereka ke gw buat coba nikmatin prosesnya, proses pendewasaan. Pas gw sendiri yang kena 'hit', langsung down "bam!". Gaswat. Makanyaa.. Gw ga bisa sendirian, harus ada yang diajak ngobrol, atau at least ditulis kayak gini nih, kalo sendirian bisa gila T_T.

Ada lagi, gw ngerasa apa yang orang lain liat di gw itu beda sama gw yang sebenernya dan apa yang berusaha gw sampaikan (alaaah), beneran. Gatau kenapa kebanyakan orang lain liat gw bagusnya doang, atau lebih tepatnya mereka cuma ngambil kesimpulan dari gosip dan apa yang mereka liat doang, atau mungkin mereka ga peduli dalemnya gw. Halaah..
Nah, yang bikin kesel adalah, mereka kebanyakan kecewa pas tau aslinya gw gimana (salah sendiri).
Salah gw? salah temen-temen gw? basi! hahahaaaa... Abiis, jangan ngambil kesimpulan sendiri dong! ga tau apa gw yang jadi sakit terakhirnya. Kalian mah enak bisa move on, kalo gw kan jadi ada rasa insecure yang nuntut gw harus bisa jadi sesuai sama ekspektasi kalian terhadap gw yang gw sendiri bingung itu idenya dateng dari mana. Zzzzz..... damn you all.

Terakhir, plis banget jangan sering-sering curhat masalah kalian ke gw yang kalian sendiri sebenernya ga yakin mau cerita atau ga. Karena dengerin "rahasia" kalian itu sebenernya "beban" buat gw, belom tentu gw punya solusi atau pun bisa sepenuhnya ngejaga rahasia kalian (walaupun sebisa mungkin gw jaga), kan siapa tau gw keceplosan atau gimana kek. Oke oke... inti masalahnya bukannya gw ga mau peduli dengan masalah kalian, cumaaa.... cuma ya... kalo setelah kalian "curhat" ada lanjutannya niih... "lanjutan" yang agak-agak ga enak dan ngebuat kalian ter-attached ke gw dengan alasan apapun, jujur gw agak risih (soriiiiii T_T). Karena ujung-ujungnya kalian yang bakal kecewa dengan respon gw kalo gw udah muak dan akhirnya nunjukin gw yang "sebenernya", hhh.... awalnya kan ini gara-gara ekspektasi kalian juga kan?? ngamuk nih gw! m(_ _)m ampuun :p

Maap ye bloggy, kamyu jadi kena semprot eike.. cupcup. Random abis nih gw hari ini. hhh...


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Random Facts 2

Hmmm... i have all the rights to write anything in this blog, so.. let's see... krik krik krik

now i feel so sleepy.
but i also am hungry.
i think i want pizza, 2 slices will be good.
i think i also feel a little lonely, because now it's Wednesday and we'll have long weekend until sunday.
i haven't touched even an inch of my PA project since a week or two, and the final will be in the next 4 days.
i think i have a little disorientation with selecting priorities, definitely. 
i have to go on a strict diet, like i used to but it's bloody hard to start again.
i think my cellphone battery is a sucker, she sucks all the energy while doing nothing.
i feel a little empty now, maybe because i have no boyfriend at the moment.
but i agree with the idea that states "being single is a CHOICE, not a destiny".
i think i'm not an academic sort of person, i hate calculating, but i love it when i see a smart person talking.
i want to do something good soon, but i don't know what that is.
i think i'm a hyppo, so fat, so chubby, so pink.
i think my laptop is a dinosaur, she's loud, big, strong and scary.
i think the world needs me in some way, even i throw the rubbish in a proper bin. yes!
it feels so good when i'm grumbling, even when the person next to me doesn't get what i'm talking about.
i like to shower, it helps me get rid of the stress inside my head.
i want my bed to be 4 times bigger than it is now, so i can jump and roll whatever i want.
i was a very bad student when i was in junior high, i got better in senior high, you can see my improvement now.
i think i don't have to be hurry to get a boyfriend, if the right time comes, he will definitely show up.
i want to learn how to make cookies and cake, someday when i have beautiful kitchen on my own.
i should have learned piano when i was a little girl, is it too late for me to learn it now? ya ya naaah.
i love to judge people before really get to know them, and compare the thoughts after.
really? can i just be the president of this country? it is so bloody ridiculous to see traffic jams every morning.
i want to have my own apartment when i reach 25, it will be awesome.
i think designing is just not for me, i love designing when i'm free from pressure, not under it.
i love beautiful things, but somehow i couldn't put them on me, they just don't suit me.
i want to have a child at 24, which means i have to get married in 2 years from now. god.
i feel the most insecure when i know i have something in mind but i just can't let it out and people know that.
i think my house is the loudest one in this neighborhood, i took a part in that.
for god sake, can i just get rid of only 5 more kilos off my body? especially my belly and buttocks, they get too chubby these days.
i think i have this fragrance of mine which reminds me of my childhood, and it is not a very pleasant memory.
well i like old songs more than nowadays hits, they sound fake to me.
i like the smell of the rain touches the grass, it is so freaking sexy. sounds like a weirdo huh?
i used to think that dating is all the same. yeah, sue me for my lacking experience.

i think i've grumbled enough. see you next time. keep it covered! *lol



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

sh*tty virus

Yeah, my email just got crashed by a spam. And the result is that all my pictures in this blog have been deleted and gone.
I'm so mad i'm so speechless. Geeezz... Bad mood -________-"

Monday, February 20, 2012

Random Facts 1

Annyeoooong!! Hi, as usual.. random things are always hanging around me. Like my mood, it is always simply changing and mindlessly unpredictable. zzzz
Yeah, it is a new semester began with a vulnerable atmosphere. It's been a week since i got this 6th campus life started, and it's already been like a roller coaster feeling blender (lebay mode on) :p
To complete my "galau" night, i'm thinking on writing random facts about me that i "think" have.
Enjoy... (I don't think anyone would ever read this, so relieved. hufff)

1. I think i'm insecure. I always act like i'm strong, bold, cheerful and never thought things would bother me. I realized i'm actually being like this recently. When one of my closest friend told me that i'm actually a sensitive person. Hmm.. Thought it was a joke, i deeply got the thoughts in my mind, and yeah. I think it's kinda make sense. Because one and two incidents that happened in my life, caused me to have these scars. So, I'm not gonna let things or anyone hurt me, so i won't ever want to create a closer bond to anything, so that it won't hurt me if i lost it. And it applies for people. Hmmm... kinda surprise, right??

2. I love sad and romantic things; songs, movies, poets, quotes, etc. This one is kinda embarrassing though. You can check my song playlists in my hand-phone, laptop, even in my car. It's all, hmmm, you know... it all talks about love. I don't deny the facts that i've never been in a serious relationship before. I just respect the fact that i'm a human being seeking for a true love, that's all. (Zzzzz..... this one is pouring me goosebumps over my whole body). 
While the fact is that, a lot of people see me as a numb person, it hurts me a lot :'( . 

3. I want to be more like a woman. Feminine, girly, beautiful, sophisticated, mother-like, etc. Well, i wear bright color shirts like purple, red, even pink. But, i mean, i don't wear skirts, new-style scarfs, or heels (i just have them, not use them -_-). I wear flats and jeans. Poor things :( 
Well yeah i mean, i want later when i'm in the stage where i should be a wife to someone, or a mother to my children, i'll be a good one for them to have me around. and it's not only from what i wear, but also from my personality. However, i love what i wear everyday; old-day scarf, usual shirt, jeans, sneakers. Haaaa... what a comfortable life. kkkkk....

I think that's all for tonight. There are many things hidden in me that yet to be discovered. I'm gradually figuring them out as i learn to improve the good things and get rid of the bad ones. See you soon.. (still have many things to be done, need some sleeeeeeeeep :'((  )


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

undefined - i just don't know what to name this post

yeeessss!!! yes yes yes!!! today is the day of the final presentation for my architectural design 3!! and it's done pretty well. heheheee..
well, not that well but i'm proud of my work whatever the reviewer said it didn't really matter for me. because i did all i can do for these past 5 months.. yosh!!!

speaking about reviewer, well ya today we had an extraordinary outside reviewer, i think his name is Gofar or something started with "G", ya ya ok.. i know.. but it's not that "G". they're totally different.
well, this man is young, accomplished, married, cheerful, and of course rich. amazing, isn't he?
he studied architecture in my campus and guess what? he didn't become an architect! haha!! he actually is a businessman, a developer and an owner of this huge company that runs a real estate sector whatsoever. 
i know what you guys think!
it doesn't mean i don't want to be an architect. I do, but i don't know if i have the ability to do all those complicated things.. yup yup yup. it's hard to explain this even if i write a book about that. ggrr..

The most valuable lesson i got from this acquaintance is that, I CAN BE ANYTHING I WANT. hehehee!!
haha... enough for this talk about architecture. enough! wekekekeekkk (i don't know i'm just so happy about the fact that this shitty-design-program-bla-bla-bla is ended! sorry for that :p)

oh yeah, i also did something else bad today. because we're asked to write a feedback to mr.G, and of course we can write anything we want. so i thought this is a great chance for me to take my revenge (to tell everything i thought about this man called "G"  -____- )...
so i was being too honest then. mostly i wrote it like this:
you're always late even though you said it yourself that you're always punctual when you're in the US, and you told us to wait in the class at this particular time and you made us wait for hours.
you delayed things (presentations) to much, too often.
this class is actually fun but you sometimes put too much pressure on it (even when you didn't do it on purpose).
ps: sometimes we called you "gamses", and sorry for that.
      oh yeah, you had this crunchy joke every time we had a class discussion. and it wasn't funny at all.
      and i realized that you sometimes commented on our performance based on your mood,
      so that we always had to check on your expression first whether you're in a good mood or a bad one.
      thank you for your comments, advices, directions, guidance, and everything for this class.


i know i was being a bad girl to say such things. but i was in a hurry and i thought he will be okay with this, it is just a feedback. no hurt feelings. hahahaa
but i'm the one who feel more guilty right now. hahahaa...
really, i mean, really, guilty.

ok! fine i'll apologize someday. but i'm not making any promises. just saying.

so.. done for now. see you in the next semester. hope everything will turn out nice and great! yup yup thank you Allah for such an amazing semester! be it be better next time. aamiin..

ps: what the hell am i thinking?! i still have one more exam tomorrow at 1 pm and i'm already in the mood of holiday!! wahahahahaaha...